I have more faith in God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit right now than I have ever had faith in my life. I want something beyond the help that anyone could offer me as a human. I need all three of YOU! Father, Savior, Sustainer. I don’t need a rule to follow, I don’t need to pay for anything, Just a gift. And no, its not just because it’s Holy Week so thats important in Christian faith. It’s because I ate a huge bowl of Coco Pebbles last night and I have been sleeping with my blankie at 48 years old . It’s also cause I’m trying to raise another human being when I don’t feel enough myself. It’s because my husband is a stroke survivor. It’s because I am a caretaker to the one I love. Its because I’m 48 and stay hot n bothered alot of the times. No I need all three roles of YOU. I need to believe in you.
I’m sending my prayers and blessing over your life as well. Where two,three are gathered in MY name Bible verse He hears us. He protects us. He gives us the desires of our hearts!. In His name. His time schedule. In a way that’s best for us. Cause we are His kids and He loves us.
I get asked a lot why God allows bad things to happen to people or evil in this world if He controls the world and I always forget how to approach this question. I write better than I talk so I will write my thoughts on this just like I write my thoughts about other things on social media.
1. GOD IS NOT THE Only one who CONTROLs THE WORLD WE LIVE IN ON PLANET EARTH. Let me explain. U see,its always been about choice with God. We have the choice to choose Him. Think about it in terms of your marriage partner. U have a choice to love who u want to in life.
We all “want” someone to choose us to love however, we cant “make” someone chose us. We want another person to make their own choice. Its free will.
2. THE Devil IS ALSO IN This WORLD TOO. God “wanted” us to choose Him but He didnt “make” us choose Him.
3. GOD DIDNT WANT IT TO BE THIS WAY. He designed this world to love Him. In that design , we hAd a world where we wouldn’t have sickness or any other kind of bad stuff. However we “choose” to love someone else. So in this world we have it like the life/personality of someone else. Just like u experience life different with someone else.
BECAUSE God is NoT THE ONLY ONE WHO IS IN CONTROL ON EARTH …the EARTH is full of those awlful things that happen to us that we cant understand or make any sense of…
..Im gonna stop writing here because we all have things in our life that there are no words for…
I woke up this morning so overwhelmed that it took me a while to spring out of bed. Better yet, I didn’t spring out of the bed instead I wallowed out of bed while saying to myself, “get up lazy bones, you have responsibilities, there is work to be done today! I also realized that there is no such thing as giving up in my book. So here we are, I got up and got dressed for the day.
My thoughts then turned to all the flaws I have, how much my mom has to do for me. I feel like I make it harder for her so then I think about her age; bless her heart she really is Wonder Woman however I know she is human too. We don’t live forever. She says I will be okay when that time comes that we wont be together on Earth cause I am a courageous woman but I don’t feel courageous and I get overwhelmed all over again. I also think about Zach and I feel guilty. Guilty because every mom feels guilty about stuff. If you are a mom then you understand what I am getting at. I for sure wont go into ‘my’ details because there are so many opinions up here on Facebook that I know better than to go into details of self-worth at this time in my life. I would have encouragers to say “you are doing a good job”, however I also have demons in my life, little minions that would join me in the act of thinking I am doing something wrong in my life, that I deserve everything I am going through. Let’s all face it here, that is never going to help.
So here I am dressed for the day, thinking about the coffee I will smell while it’s brewing when I finally get to brewing it. I am getting overwhelmed about all this stuff, jotting it all down and this hymn I used to sing as a young child sitting in church while my mom played the piano comes to mind. Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of Earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace. See mama, your testimony for the love of Jesus in life mattered. It still matters.
“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.”
So where do I start? If First things are first then I will begin with “I feel like I am losing everything.” There are a thousand thoughts in my head right now. There are a thousand things being said to me right now from various sources. All I know is the advice I get from sources that help me move forward is the only advice I want to hear right now. Every other advice is just too much for me to handle. I just need to do the next step. So don’t tell me what I’m doing wrong, don’t tell me I don’t have enough Christ in me or please don’t make me think I have too much of myself or my own interest involved with this; please just give me advice to take the next step. I want to move forward in my life.
Better yet, I didn’t spring out of the bed instead I wallowed out of bed while saying to myself, “get up lazy bones, you have responsibilities, there is work to be done today! I also realized that there is no such thing as giving up in my book. So here we are, I got up and got dressed for the day.