I woke up this morning so overwhelmed that it took me a while to spring out of bed. Better yet, I didn’t spring out of the bed instead I wallowed out of bed while saying to myself, “get up lazy bones, you have responsibilities, there is work to be done today! I also realized that there is no such thing as giving up in my book. So here we are, I got up and got dressed for the day.

My thoughts then turned to all the flaws I have, how much my mom has to do for me. I feel like I make it harder for her so then I think about her age; bless her heart she really is Wonder Woman however I know she is human too. We don’t live forever. She says I will be okay when that time comes that we wont be together on Earth cause I am a courageous woman but I don’t feel courageous and I get overwhelmed all over again. I also think about Zach and I feel guilty. Guilty because every mom feels guilty about stuff. If you are a mom then you understand what I am getting at. I for sure wont go into ‘my’ details because there are so many opinions up here on Facebook that I know better than to go into details of self-worth at this time in my life. I would have encouragers to say “you are doing a good job”, however I also have demons in my life, little minions that would join me in the act of thinking I am doing something wrong in my life, that I deserve everything I am going through. Let’s all face it here, that is never going to help.

So here I am dressed for the day, thinking about the coffee I will smell while it’s brewing when I finally get to brewing it. I am getting overwhelmed about all this stuff, jotting it all down and this hymn I used to sing as a young child sitting in church while my mom played the piano comes to mind. Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of Earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace. See mama, your testimony for the love of Jesus in life mattered. It still matters.